Bookshop dialogues today

Me "Do you have an email address?"
Customer "I don't believe in them."

Colleague " We are offering 20 percent off all non-discounted books today."
Many customers at different times "I'm not interested."

Customer "Do you have the book Hickery dickery dock?"
Me "I can't find that listed. Do you know who the author is?
C "No, but it's just been published. You must have it surely? I mean this is ridiculous."
Me "And it's definitely called HDD? I can't find that title listed anywhere."
C "Yes. Oh for heavens sakes" Tuts. Rolls eyes.
Me "I'm sorry, but..."
C "Oh no, hold on, it's not called that, it's called Pop goes the weasel"
Me "Riiight. Yes, we have that."

Customer "Have you got Maeve Binchey's latest in paperback?"
Me "No, it has only recently been published in hardback, it's not due to be paperback until next year." (I did give a specific date)
C "Have you got Bernard Cornwell's latest in paperback?"
Me "No, sorry, that has also just been published in hardback and isn't due to be in paperback until next year."
C "Have you got the latest..."
And so it went tediously on!

And a customer anecdote from a colleague. Every week a customer would come in and ask "Have you got any books about Toy Story?"
And the assistant would always show him the same couple of Toy Story books, and the customer would leave without buying anything. Then to coincide with a special Toy Story release the book buyer ordered in lots of Toy Story related books, and created a display case with them all in. When the customer made his weekly enquiry the assistant took him over to the case. The customer looked at it for a minute then said "Have you got any other books about Toy Story?"