Life is... challenging. Super challenging. It keeps getting shitter. It is heartsmash right now. Instead of gazing into the hell of it I am going to shine light on a few things that have made me feel a little less broken:
I am appreciating the blackness of the black finepoint Sharpies. It is difficult when the ink goes through to the other side of a page but the satisfaction of the deep black letters it forms is good.
I am enjoying way too many extra strength ibuprofen tablets. The ones I have are like Smarties: round, sweet candy for my near ever present headaches.
I love to hear anything from Kuzhali Manickavel because she is so much cooler than you/me/us. Her latest blog post includes this quote:
"Special salute to the lady assholes out there that remind us that misogyny is not a dude thing, it's an asshole thing and just because you have a uterus does not mean you can't be an asshole."
Damn tooting!
I like how things are shaping up at HOUSEFIRE.
I'm reading the new Ali Smith novel. (Showing off.)
The Mentalist is back on. Hurray. Cho is by far my favourite character. I like his deadpan everything. Jane is aces too but Cho time is the best.
I have to mention that I've been entirely obsessed with Eminem's Recovery. I am a feminist, unafraid to state that, and yet I've been listening to Recovery like I'm an addict. It's hard to square that with myself so I don't. I respond to the thrill of his speed, clarity, truths, wordblends, pain, melody and so on. It's inspirational - he's so, so good and I want that for myself. Whenever he appears with other rappers he seems to totally be better than them. All of them. And intensity - whooooo.
No love is awesomeness. From 3 minutes in Eminem builds and builds and I love it just as much every time I hear it.
Things are coming back to life in my garden. I bought a tree last year. Well, it will eventually be a tree, I hope. Right now it's a rather weedy looking couple of sticks but I can see teeny buds on those bare arms and I'm anticipating something hopeful.
I have a bird party tree in my front garden. Throughout winter I've put up fat snacks, peanuts, and seed feeders, and now it's definitely a hang out. I like the sounds.
2 days ago
12 comments:
Sorry to hear about the black stuff, but you give good shine! (I still apply our "Say in Cho's Voice" rule to anything that's depressing me, and it still works.) Take care, and keep shining.
Yes, sorry to hear that the 'shit' is taking over but you do right to counterbalance with the light and I love your light, Eminem is amazing and I LOVE Ali Smith - didn't even know she had a new novel *rushes off to get* and I must check out all the other things you said. Things can change either way in an instant and if the light doesn't find you, find it. Hugs.
Such a weird thing - I too have Eminem blasting out and a garden full of birds...fat balls too...the sound of a blackbird or a robin just makes all my cells feel calmer.
Sending all those cool vibes and so sorry about all the crap...you would hate to hear it but I consider you one brave lady - on many levels.....
Wow - a tree full of new buds just waiting to pop and still growing amid all that darkness. Keep feeding those birds. Hang on in there - spring must be just around the corner for you.
But even those lovely new branches will be covered in crap just as sure as shit happens. You're doing a great job of hanging on in there.
THat was an idiotic comment so just delete it and know people care about you and wish they could do something beyond platitudes and stupid analogies to help.
@Sarah - One unfortunate side effect of Cho-ing is that one always looks miserable but I plan to Cho in my head. Thanks for the good wishes.
@Alison - Thank you for your kindness. Sorry to disappoint but the Smith book "There But For The" isn't published until June (hence the showing off as I have a proof.)
@Julia - Great minds thinking alike :) Eminem and bird seed rock!
@Rachel - haha :) And thank you.
I have just had a two week headache so I feel for you, keep popping them pills. Kuzhali's quote is fantastic! Haha! I thought it was just me that could get excited about pens. Fab. We have a tree but I think it's either dead or dying. Not sure how to save trees really. Good luck with yours tho. xxx
Great post, Sara. I'm sorry you're in pain and feeling shitty, and I applaud you reaching for the bright and shiny.
"I'm anticipating something hopeful."
I hope you're rewarded in every way.
Cheers.
Am sending you the best of warm wishes.
vx
Thank you Melissa, Ethel, and Vanessa.
:)
I hope the shitty stuff clears the hell out soon. I love your good stuff list, especially the sharpies and Cho's deadpan. Cho's deadpan is the best :-)
Hi Francesca, and thanks for commenting. I have exciting Sharpie news - they now do an actual Sharpie pen which is finepoint and does not go thru paper! woot woot ;)
Cho's deadpan is so very fine :)
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